Prayer

Last Sunday at our Porterbrook Cohort meeting (there's a whole explanation for that, but I won't go into it here) we were supposed to choose an area of our lives that we wanted to see real gospel change in this trimester.  I chose prayer.  Recently I had been feeling unmotivated to pray and when I did pray, I was super-easily distracted by anything and everything else.  After sharing this with the 4 other members of my cohort, they started to dig into me about why this might be happening.  They asked what I thought was preventing me from wanting to spend time with God in prayer.  I said that I wasn't sure and we all agreed to be praying about it in the coming week.  (Kinda funny, praying for God to tell me why I'm not praying.)  Anyway, after that conversation, I began to pray at least once daily for the Spirit to move and really let me know where I may be sinning or not trusting Him.  As the next few days rolled on, I found it easier to pray this prayer and found myself wanting more and more to just understand my sin and fight it!  Today, I put Seth down for his nap and then hopped in the shower.  I prayed again for the Spirit to reveal my sin so that I could repent of it and rejoice in God's finished work to save me.  I finished praying and was about to get out of the shower when all of a sudden, it hit me:  I am absolutely terrified about becoming a mother of two.  I am so afraid of the changes that this will bring in our family.  In all of my relationships (especially with Jon & Seth.)  I have been so blind to this truth that was obviously negatively impacting my prayer-life.  The one thing I most needed to be praying about was hindering me from talking with God at all.  I was believing the lie that this was all for me to handle.  I would just have to deal with it and make the best of things and persevere on my own will and strength.  THIS IS FALSE! There is NO WAYthat I'm going to be able to get through this crushing fear and the months and years ahead without God's grace and mercy and sovereignty.  I am so thankful to be where we are right now and to have friends that love us (and God) enough to want to help us fight our sin and who will fight right alongside us.  I know that this will be a continual struggle for me and I am grateful that I am now able to identify it (praise God!) and go to Him with my worries and fears and sin.  I know that my relationships will change, but I also know that God is big and loving.  He knows me and He knows my sin, but he sees me as His redeemed daughter.  It is God who accomplishes the work from first to last.   

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Satisfied in You (Psalm 42)

I have lost my appetite 
And a flood is welling up behind my eyes 
So I eat the tears I cry 
And if that were not enough 
They know just the words to cut and tear and prod 
When they ask me “Whereʼs your God?” 

Why are you downcast, oh my soul? 
Why so disturbed within me? 
I can remember when you showed your face to me 

As a deer pants for water, so my soul thirsts for you 
And when I survey Your splendor, You so faithfully renew 
Like a bed of rest for my fainting flesh 

When Iʼm looking at the ground 
Itʼs an inbred feedback loop that drags me down 
So itʼs time to lift my brow 
And remember better days 
When I loved to worship you and learn your ways 
Singing sweetest songs of praise 

Let my sighs give way to songs that sing about your faithfulness 
Let my pain reveal your glory as my only real rest 
Let my losses show me all I truly have is you 

So when Iʼm drowning out at sea 
And all your breakers and your waves crash down on me 
Iʼll recall your safety scheme 
Youʼre the one who made the waves 
And your Son went out to suffer in my place 
And to show me that Iʼm safe 

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Christmas Printable

I made this little chalkboard look Christmas printable of Isaiah 9:6 this morning after seeing one on Pinterest, but not wanting to pay to download it! So, here it is for all to enjoy... (I also have it as a PDF in a larger size if you'd like, just couldn't figure out how to attach it to this post.)

-Clair

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This kid

This kid is funny.
This kid has a huge, interesting personality.
This kid is silly.
This kid loves his Rhino.
This kid throws tantrums.
This kid is crazy about Elmo & Yo Gabba Gabba.
This kid likes to dance.
This kid gives the best hugs.
This kid helps Mama with chores.
This kid is easily frustrated.
This kid is smart.
This kid loves books.
This big kid is my little baby and he is so loved.

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Parents' Visit & Roman Shade Tutorial

My parents visited this past weekend and helped us get some major projects done!  My dad and Jon installed some new cabinets, built shelves & put doors on the gaping holes in our kitchen!  

My mom and I tackled making roman shades for the breakfast room and kitchen windows.  We basically did a modified version of this tutorial from Little Green Notebook on making roman shades from mini-blinds.  I didn't take any process pictures, but I still have one more to make for the laundry room, so I'll try to remember to take pictures then!  

Here's a shot of how the fabric drapes over the mini-blind bar at the top.  The fabric is glued to the back of that bar and then just drapes over the top and front. 

 The finished shades turned out so great!  I am super pleased with the results.  

This is the back of the blind.  You can see where the ribs are glued to the fabric. 

And here you can see the seam on the side of the patterned fabric and the lining fabric. This was a key difference in our method and the LGN method.  My mom was adamant about having them lined, so after cutting our fabric to size, she sewed them together and then ironed them nice and flat and we glued the ribs to the back of the lining.  

We are so thankful for all the help my parents have given and continue to give us!  (I think they also enjoyed spending more time with Seth. :) )

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Ballpark Pretzels

Every week, our church small group does dinner together before our discussion time and each week has a different theme for the potluck meal.  Last week, our theme was Ballpark Food! Any and everything you can get while watching baseball at your favorite ballpark.  I had all the ingredients for soft pretzels, so I thought I'd give it a shot!  I used this recipe and had, unfortuneatly mixed success with it.  Next time, I think I'll try a different recipe just to see what the differences are.

Before rising.

After boiling/baking.

The results looked good, but were kind of strange.  Parts of them tasted pretty good, while other parts tasted really bad! (To me, it seemed almost like pockets of yeast had gathered in areas and gave a very bitter taste...not sure though.  The dough was mixed well in a KitchenAid mixer.)  If anyone else tries this recipe or finds a better one, let me know your results!!! 

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I Miss Rogers Park

I can't even think about writing this post without tearing up.  I loved Rogers Park and all that living there entailed.  I miss our friends. I miss our church. I miss hearing people banging around the dumpster in the middle of the night.  I miss taking walks with my fellow mommies and their kiddos.

Texas is just so different.  I have made some great friends here. I love our new church. I love being closer to family. I love the sky here.  But I will always look back on our time in Chicago with very fond memories and probably teary eyes.  Praise God for the time we got to spend there!  Praise God for the friends we made there!  Praise Him that we moved to Texas with peace in our hearts about the decision.

I try not to dwell on RP too much because it makes me long to be back there.  I don't want to seem ungrateful or unhappy about being in Texas, because I'm not!  I do love so many things about being here.  I just sometimes have trouble reconciling my feelings about moving away from Chicago with those of living here now.  I can accept that I was happy there and that I am also happy here.  I think I am just hoping for a kind of replacement for the friendships that I left behind.  I know I will never find that though.  I think that living in a place like RP just builds different relationships.  I am unable to just walk a few blocks to join friends for coffee.  I can't catch a bus or train to visit a museum with them.

Conclusion: I need a car to have friends here.  :)

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